"say i love you, say i need you.
i try so many ways to say how my heart beats for you
i say i'm always thinkin about
there's no way i wanna face this life without u
and even tho these words come from deep inside me,
there's so much more i dotn' have the words to say

cuz what i realyl wanna say is what the sun would say to the sky
for giving it a place to come alive
but my words get in the way
of what i really wanna say

i kno that sometimes my words could be as hard as stone
and sometimes my words even left u feelin so lone
so please forgive and hear the words i'm singin now
i will spend my whole life look for a way some how
to let u kno just how precious u are to me
i'll use the best words i know but i still won't say it all

cuz what i really wanna say is what the sun would say to the sky
for giving it a place to come alive
but my words get in the way
of what i really wanna say" Steven Curtis Chapman "What I Really Wanna Say"

3 more days till i leave for my vaca. i'm pretty psyched about it but i don't want to go cuz i wanna chill wit some people in NJ. I'm leavin ellen here =( (thanks for that goodbye ****) *Sigh* but she's goin to go to boston to meet hot guys, and she's goin to bring them back to NJ so we can chill wit them =) hehe...and i'm leavin mae...*sigh. MAE! u can come to my house and do watever u want. hehe.

well, last nite i got a chance to say bye to arthy, he just left a few minutes ago... and i said goodbye to dan today....he left a few hours ago. everyone's coming and going.. everything in life seems to come and go now. i hate it. all i need is some solid ground to stand on..but it seems so impossible right now. it's really sad that things hvae come down to this... but we'll get through it. it's really hard to know who u can trust, and who u can....and who truly cares about u and who's in it just for the fun. but....hey, we'll have to take it one step at a time and see what happens. i'm lucky that i have at least a few friends that i have a true relatoinship with.

AISH... it's freezing. i'm outta here..buster.