wow, so i was just hanging around online and stuff and became suddenly very depressed. i suddenly feel really really distant from everyone. i dont know... i'm in need for deep conversation.. haven't had one in a long time and i just NEED it... like.. i crave it. i think that the last one i had was probably with victor while he was over my house at like 2AM... that was so long ago.... so so long ago. that's sad...

so yeah, i don't know..maybe i just miss a lot of things... like guh. who knows what happened to him. =P off to rutgers he goes and i hear from in 2wice a year.. =T GUH... if u're readin this...come visit me man!!

u see,that's what i'm so scared. yeah, i'm excited about goin off to college. meeting new people, new environment, freedom to choose what to do and when to do it... but knowin that i would be seein the same familiar face just freaks me out. it's like i spend most of my life tryin to develop good/strong/trusting friendship and poof.. it's gone, goodbye. i mean, yeah, we're goin to keep in touch,but things won't ever be the same again. take guh and i for example. close as anything... and now it's just.. a "hi" every now and then. =T i'm scared. i don't know what's wrong with me. i guess i'm just kind of freaked out about the way things are goin on right now.... jealousy is getting to me.. i wish it'd stop. i have to get over myself... and i need a good talk.