[random thoughts... vent time]
over the past couple of days, i've had an awesome time with my friends and fmaily... but also came to realize things. i'm really tired of people constantly blaming others for thigns and pityin themselves. don't they see the neverendin cycle they go through? it's like "oh thank god for the things he's put in my life. i wish i knew these things earlier" and then it's "blah, i hate my life, why is it like this, i'm goin to change" and then "oh, God is so great, he's taught em so many things. i wish i wasn't so upset before, cuz now things are rreally coming together". and over and over again. i mean, everyone goes through it but don't be overdramatic about it and pity urself beyond reach. remember that u make ur decisions and u have to live with them.

there are a lot of things i want to say right now, but don't think i should because it will all be out of anger. i'm gonna leave things the way they are ... i can't freakin keep up with ur inconsistency.

ON A MUCH HAPPIER NOTE

[lil joys in life]
in the past couple of days, i've come to enjoy lil joys in life that make me feel so warm and luvy dovy inside. they make me smile and thankful for the people that surround me and that i've been given the priveledge of sharing memories with.
:: singing with virginia on the car. it's good to know that after so many years of being friends.. after so many ups and downs (not in our friendship, but rather, in our lives), we're able to sit in the car during the holidays, not sayin much of anythign to each other and just singing songs.
:: lil kids are great. they never fail to make me crazily happy. first thing was seeing max. our "quartet" left the program to practice outside before we performed, and as we were walkin back, max ran up to me and his mom was like "hold on! don't leave!! max came to see u!" and max gave me a hug and .. AHH!! he remembers me! =) later on he sat on my lap and i just soaked in the joy of havin him on my lap makin his cute lil "ahhhh. boom!" sounds. second lil kids that made me completely happy was ginger. she's the cutest gurl in the world. i can't believe she's in middle skewl already. she came up to me and handed me a christmas card and gave me the biggest hug. ahhh =)
:: hugs from my friends. yesterday it took me the longest time to leave church. i ended up stayin an hour more than i was expectin to. heh, everyone just ran around huggin each other. it was great =)
:: talkin to the old people =P (aka collegians =P) always enjoy talkin to them and catchin up with them.. and havin them yell at me to go to UMICH =P
:: going to nancy's house. always feel so at home when i go over and enjoy being so close to their family.
:: ellenmellen. glad that we've had this weekend to be together. something about being around each other and the familiarity of each other makes me feel... safe? mmm, *pffft*
:: hugs from matt. hah, yesterday while in line for our movie tickets, this grandpa who was behind us turns to me and goes "if u get tired of huggin him, feel free to hug me. my wife isn't looking" and then his wife, who's about 5 feet away goes "oh, i'm watching all right!" and the man goes "dang, they're like hawks, watching us." haha, matt and i just laughed, didn't really know what to say. what do u say to something like that? but yeah, mm, matt's hugs =)
:: laughin. who can't enjoy a good laugh. have spent most of my weekend laughin. i have abs of steel thanks to my friends. no need to workout, just hangout with ellen, steph, allie, derk, dave, eileen, christina, min, and eric and u should be perfectly fit =P