[pressure is on]
feelin a lot of pressure right nwo to get into UIUC... man. a lot. i can't stop thinkin about it and it's just gettin me paranoid. it sucks that art students find out so much later than everyone else.. AHHHHH!!!!! =X but congrats matt! i'm really relaly happy for u and proud of u (psch... he never reads my blog anymore. this is useless). but yes, the pressure is on.

[puma jumpsuits]
leslie and i really wanna get puma jumpsuits... gonna go to shorthills next weekend together to buy them.. and hopefully by then, i'll know whether or not i'm visiting UMICH.... cuz if i'm goin w/her.. we're ognna get UMICH colors. we're so kewl =P

[public speaking]
today i had to read a poem in front of my class.. and i realized that i hate speakin in front of my skewl classmates. i honestly can't do it. i felt myself gettin all red... and i was sweatin and i stuttered like crazy... i can do this fine anywhere else!! i emcee every friday nite and it's no big deal.. i'm able to be myself.. and outside of skewl with my friends outside of marlboro, i'm loud and able to express my feelings and be myself... at skewl i'm all.. tense and.. blah. it sucks!!

["birches" by robert frost]
dr. pullen had us choose a poem to read from out poetry book and i picked my fave: "birches" by robert frost. i haven't read it in a long time.. and today when i ready it, it really shocked me how much things have changed. despite the fact that i was nervous as anything, i had a moment standing up there at the podium when i felt like i was readin it to myself and it was really soothing.. it's sad how much things have changed... and how serious and life-changing decisions can be.. and to know that it'll only get more serious scares me. not gettin into UNC was probly one of the biggest disappointments i've experienced... i never knew i'd react like that. i never kenw i wanted to go so badly. and to know that it wasn't meant for me ...