there's one thing that is humongously pissing me off.

lately, i've been finding that leaders like to assume a lot of things without really tryin to talk things out with those under them before accusing them of things.. and then they go along and talk about those under them behind there back and make it known to the whole world and thus trying to get others to fix the problem for them. what is the point of that? i think that praise and adoration should be used wisely, because a lot of times, it can, instead of solely encouraging them, let them go on a whole power-trip and thus letting them thing that they have the right to judge others.

honestly, if you don't want to spend the time to know what's goin on in my life or if you have no desire to find out why things are they way they are, then you have no right to judge or assume. don't use some secret back route to try to muster up my feelings. it's not goin to work. wanna know what's goin on in my life? wanna know why i've been actin a certain why? then come straight out and ask me.. or else just keep your mouth shut. if you don't want to spend the time to knwo the full story, u have no right to judge.

goodness, i hate it when people go "i'm sorry that i'm sayin this stuff, and i don't mean to sound mean and bitter but..." SORRY. u are being overly mean and bitter and melodramatic.. get over urself. don't try to justify urself by sayin you can't help the way you feel to make peopel sympathetic to ur cause. *arg*

BLARGH =P
ok... on a better note =P

[Last nite]
i had a really good time last nite at fellowship. it was really relieving to let go and have a good time while being in the presence of fellow joy-wokers =) this week has been an emotional rollercoaster for me. i cried a lot this week, i was confused for a huge part of this week, and the emotional turmoil took a toll on my physical well-being. i was so exhausted everyday, and i wasn't gettin enough sleep because things were on my mind.. virginia did a really good job leading worship despite the fact that she said she did badly because one of the songs were a lil bit off. that realyl didn't matter. we had very limited time to practice cuz the keyboard and the gtar/bass were having problems and the monitors wouldn't turn on, but she was so well-prepared and organized that we were able to practice all of our songs in 25 minutes.

derek made emcee-ing very tedious yesterday. he spontaneously played a game without lettin me nkow ahead of time, but it was kewl i guess. the game was called "what is ur favorite adjective" (how original) and i said "saucy" and derek said "sassy" (my "saucy" girl.. mmmm heh).. heh, i think we usually plan for emceeing to go about 5-10 minutes but last nite, it ran for about 20 minutes. 20 very hard minutes that required lots of improvisation. thank u derek for that =P.

studying Daniel right now is very very interesting. with what's goin on with the war and the future events, things really tie in well with Daniel. i found everything auntie wendy said very intriquing. although i've heard all this stuff before, i think the time has finalyl come when things are actually happening according to revelations.. it was really amazing to see 16 kids go up during the outreach. i was brought to tears and as eileen led us in the closing song, i saw that my future is not in my hands at all. lately i've been so worried about what's goin to happen in college and stuff, but i realized that i have no control over anything... and that i should just keep faith in what's happening and that it WILL work out all right.

i went to the galleria and met up with matt, jordan, anthony, zach and elish to watch them play pool. it was a lot of fun. they're a really fun group of guys to hang out with. very easy-going. at 11, matt and i went to steph's house to play pictionary. ahh, i love them. everytime i hang out with them i am reminded of how much i love them.. and how much i'm goin to miss them when we all leave for college.. we're crazy when we get together and laugh at the corniest/stupidest things but it's so much fun. i took over serena's spot cuz she had to leave and derk and i did pretty well as a team. it was fun..

heh, it looks like my whole day is shot cuz my mom made my prom dress appt in the middle of everything. who makes an appt for 6 o'clock? blah, .. i'm gonna go find something to do. ta ta